Are you one of Facebook’s 1.4 billion users? If so, you agreed to these alarming clauses in its user policy without even knowing it.

1. Any photos you post are subject to be printed out and hung in the kitchen at Facebook’s office headquarters.

2. Facebook may turn over any user data to the Department of Agriculture if it is deemed “of critical value to the harvest.”

3. If your father creates an account, he will be notified any time you make a post that is deemed “too rowdy.”

4. If a post you make gets more than 100 likes, Facebook reserves the right to take some of them away.

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5. In the event of your death, your last status update will be transcribed into a handwritten letter, sealed with a kiss from Mark Zuckerberg, and mailed to your parents’ home address. This action will repeat once a month indefinitely.

6. Your private information may be shared with George Takei at any time.

7. Your metadata may be collected, but it may not be, so stay on your toes.

8. Facebook can track your location at all times, but only so that Zuckerberg can swing by to say hey if he’s in the area.

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Wow. Really goes to show that it’s worth reading the fine print before agreeing to anything!