Caring for a pet is a major commitment, so before buying or adopting a new dog for your family, take a minute to consider these big questions.

1. Am I capable of love? A dog isn’t a fun piece of furniture, so consider whether you’re fundamentally broken and unable to love another being before bringing a dog into your life.

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2. Do I have enough clothes to cover my body so that my dog does not have to see my nudity? It’s critical to be absolutely positive that you have a sufficient amount of clothing to cover your nude body before you get a dog. Otherwise, your dog will see your naked body, which is a heinous crime.

3. Can I just watch videos of dogs online instead? Do the research first: Find out if it’s possible for you to watch dog videos on the internet instead of actually getting a dog.

4. I work in a foundry. Is it safe to have dogs near open pools of molten iron? Being a metalworker is a big part of your life, so this is definitely something to keep in mind. It should be okay as long as you train the dog not to dive into the liquid metal.

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5. Was I tricked into getting a dog? Think about everything that has happened to you over the past few weeks. Were you previously against the idea of dog ownership? Someone may have tricked you.

6. When was the last time I called my dad? Irrespective of getting a new dog, you should really drop a line to your dad. He’s not gonna be there forever.

7. Would I be better off with a mule? A dog cannot haul a plow, bear heavy loads, or carry you on its back through mountainous terrain. If this is what you’re looking for in a pet, consider a mule instead.

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8. How many dogs will it really take to fill that ditch with dogs? As a dog owner, you have to know exactly how many dogs it will take to have that ditch overflowing with dogs. Ten? Fifteen? Honestly, it looks big enough to get at least 18 in there.