The writing is on the wall.


1. The last five people you went on dates with got snatched up by an eagle before you could go on a second date with them.

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2. You hate having to share your hair.

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3. You took a career aptitude test in ninth grade, and it said the career you were most suited for was “single veterinarian.”

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4. When you go to bed, you like to spread out over the entire room.

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5. You have only said the phrase “I love you” once, and you were talking about the idea of watching a movie alone.

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6. You love being able to walk around in your house with all your skin off.

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7. It’s hard for you to open up to people about your part in the 1990 Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist that resulted in the theft of $500 million worth of art.

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8. You would rather have sex with someone once than three times every hour for the rest of your life.

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9. You secretly love the idea of dying alone.

Via thedatereport.com

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