At last: every single known quotation from celebrities involving, addressing, or referring to horseshoes on one readily accessible list. Please feel free to peruse, share, and enjoy, and be sure to bookmark for easy future access.


“If you get a horseshoe around your neck, that’s it. You’re fucked! How’re they going to get that off? Bolt cutters? Yeah, good luck not nicking an artery and spraying out onto the shag. No, once it’s on there, you’re on your way out. It’s the way of things.” —Miles Davis

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“A horseshoe is lucky open-side-up, but turn it over and the luck falls out, just like that. I consider this one of the greatest design flaws in human history, and I’ve dedicated my life and the whole of my work against it.” —Henry Ford

Via Philanthropyroundtable.org

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“What are horseshoes? Please. What are they? Don’t clap. Stop clapping. Speak. Tell me. What are horseshoes? Please! Please! Please! What is this? What are horseshoes? Please stop clapping. You need to tell me. You have to tell me. Please.” —Meryl Streep

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“Please don’t bean me with that other horseshoe, Lou. One was enough. I’ll be good.” —William “Bud” Abbott

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“If you needed to clean a horseshoe, you could maybe boil it, but what do I know? I’m the recessive Sprouse.” —Cole Sprouse

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“Time is a horseshoe: curved on one side, open on the other, and occasionally fucked by a feckless and insatiable moron for lack of anything else suitable.” —Philip Pullman

Via Thetimes.co.uk

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“As far as getting a human to wear horseshoes is concerned, you’re better off binding them directly to the skin than going in with farrier’s nails. Nails will just slide right back out. In the long run, I’ve had better results with heat-fusing than glue; the pain and humiliation of it takes the fight out of your new ‘horse’ almost immediately. Isn’t that right, Shiloh? He’s to be gelded Saturday.” —Jon Voight

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“I need two things, stat: a gin gimlet, and someone to get this horseshoe out of me.” —Warren Beatty

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“My horseshoes!” —Kevin Kline

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