Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.

Within the vastness of our grand universe, there are some mysteries that may forever remain unsolved. Such an enigmatic occurrence, in fact, is taking place right now at a local Italian spot located in northwest Philadelphia: No one can tell whether this little boy in a suit holding the door for everybody works at this restaurant or not.

Is he just an overly friendly kid who’s helping out for fun while his parents eat dinner, or is he an official greeter on the restaurant’s payroll? We must accept that we may never know.


A litany of confounding clues have turned this young boy’s situation into an immortal riddle. On one hand, he has a napkin printed with the restaurant’s name in his jacket pocket, which makes it look like the suit might be his uniform, and he dutifully says “Welcome to Carmine’s” to every customer who enters as though he has been trained to do so. On the other hand, he takes frequent breaks to go play with a ninja action figure in the hallway by the bathroom, and he looks to be about 7 years old, which is much too young for a job.

Ah, the secrets of the cosmos. The boy could be the restaurant owner’s son or nephew, but even this is just a mere guess at the unknowable answer to an everlasting puzzle.

With no idea when the boy arrived or who brought him, it is nigh impossible to tell if he is warning everyone to watch their step on the stair by the door simply because he’s concerned for their safety, or because it is his job. The boy has also been addressing all the waiters and busboys by name, but whether he gained this level of familiarity as a regular customer or a longtime employee of the restaurant, only God can know.

This is truly a mystery for the ages. It may be best not to try to explain it, but simply to watch it unfold. Perhaps an eagle-eyed customer will see this boy go home with a paycheck at the end of the night, and the conundrum will be put to rest. Or perhaps, like so much dust in the wind, visible but ungraspable, it will remain swirling through our universe forever.


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