Here’s a story that’ll restore your faith in humanity.

When 8-year-old Devin Thompson was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer earlier this year, the Make-A-Wish Foundation generously arranged for him to go on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Disney World. However, Devin arrived at the airport the day of his trip only to discover that his flight to Disney World had been canceled, leaving him utterly devastated. But just when it seemed like all hope was lost, something amazing happened: Misfits lead singer Glenn Danzig invited Devin to sit with him at the airport Chili’s and described to him in detail what it’s like to have sex.



Unaware of Devin’s illness or his canceled flight, Danzig hollered to the boy from across the crowded airport terminal and invited him to come help eat his Southwestern egg rolls, explaining that every time he tries to finish them on his own he ends up doubled over with the squirts in the Delta Sky Lounge. Once Devin joined him, the legendary punk rocker treated the child to a once-in-a-lifetime experience, expounding at length about what it feels like to get laid.

“Fucking is the best goddamn feeling in the world,” Danzig explained to the child, adding that he still had some crusties on his dick from fucking a “Polish broad with a C-section scar” earlier that day. “And Dustin, let me tell you, it’s not just the cumming part that feels good. People make a big deal about cumming, but let me make it clear to you right now: It all feels good. Even if you can’t get it hard and the girl’s just sort of squishing around on top of you, it’s still a pretty good time.”


“Stinks like hell, though,” he continued, pausing briefly to blow a snot rocket into his cloth napkin. “Feels great, but damn, the pussy stink will knock you flat on your ass.”

He then proceeded to order the boy a frozen margarita.

Whether Devin knew who Danzig was or not, it had to be a dream come true to have an adult in a Chili’s describe what it’s like to get laid, and certainly much cooler than anything he would’ve experienced at Disney World. It just goes to show that even though the world can sometimes seem like a cruel and unfair place, the goodness of people can make an extraordinary difference. Kudos to Danzig for stepping up to save a terminally ill kid’s day!