While amazing scientific discoveries are being made almost every day, for some researchers, ignorance is bliss. In a stunning move, scientists announced this morning that if spiders have sex for pleasure, they simply don’t want to know about it.

Wow. When it comes to arachnids and their sex lives, apparently the less we know the better?


As of this morning, hundreds of researchers across dozens of institutions had signed an open letter, stating plainly that if there is anyone out there who knows, either through research or word of mouth, if spiders fornicate, they should just keep that info to themselves. While the scientists do acknowledge that this seems to go against their duties as researchers, the letter maintains that the possibility of spiders having sex for pleasure is “just too gross to even begin to think about, so we won’t.”

“We, the undersigned scientists, would never, ever like to find out whether or not spiders fuck each other just because they feel like it. We feel that that would involve simply too many legs doing too many things,” stated the letter. “If we knew how two eight-legged arthropods pleasured each other’s terrible gonads, we would not be in the correct mental state to do our jobs, and so we—and subsequently the rest of the world—will be better served remaining completely in the dark about it.”

Wow. Clearly, these scientists have their minds made up that they’re just better off not knowing about stuff like that, and we can’t blame them! Some stones really are better left unturned.