Today we are as one. We are a great wave.

1. Join us, friend! Neville Longbottom, once pudgy, has grown up hot. Together all of us will masturbate to his image!

2. Oh, look! Katie Leung, a.k.a. Cho Chang, turned out gorgeous! Take your hand, and feel no shame; our self-pleasure joins us in community.

3. You can feel it, the electricity of it, connecting us, as we stroke and stroke again, Ginny Weasley our conduit. There it is!

4. Dean Thomas, once young, now sexy. Before his image we all become one bliss, one breath.

5. Tom Felton excites us, our rhythmic ministrations delight us, and the internet unites us, all in a single infinite moment!

6. Afshan Azad! Padma Patil! What a great and loving entity we now are!

7. One! One! All one! North and south, east and west, bound in ecstasy! Go, surge, seethe, faster, faster! An era of peace lies just beyond our onrushing threshold!

8. We are transcendent. Thank you, Harry Potter, for becoming handsome. We are forever.