Use these pointers to get the most out of your trip to the most magical place on earth!
1. Want to take your trip to the next level? If you purchase the Deluxe Brunch Package at Mickey’s Muffin Corral, Mickey Mouse himself will sit down with you over brunch and actually talk with you about one of three topics: sports, animals, or Ford trucks’ towing capability.
2. If you want to make your trip more educational, put your infant on the Learning Express Baby Train upon entering the park. When the train returns from wherever it goes five hours later, the baby will be able to speak perfect English.
3. Remember: Car accident survivors get to cut any park line on the anniversary of their accident, so consider that when timing your trip!
4. While Walt Disney’s head is not actually frozen on the premises, it’s always good to know you can kiss his bones in Adventureland for $400. Just ask for Keith.
5. If you need to use the bathroom, keep in mind that the hairless, whispering man is still hanging out in the Tomorrowland restroom area hassling people. Use the bathrooms in Frontierland, where his friendly brother hangs out.
6. Looking to add that Midwestern touch to your trip? The Nebraska section of Epcot has the best corn and corn juice.
7. If a child appears to be separated from his parents, slide him into the open mouth of one of the golden Donald Duck statues, and a cast member will collect him shortly.
8. Tell a park worker if you are Chinese. They will escort you to a special room where you can wait while your family enjoys the day.
9. If you are lodging in a Disney Resort, remember that you can stay for an extra hour after the park closes, when the characters all wear their heads upside down and all laws and taboos are abandoned to the wind.