Ready to feel young and fat? Well, buckle up, because we have got some news that’s going to make you feel like an obese baby: The dad from Malcolm In The Middle just turned 8 years old and weighs 17 pounds.

Yep. It’s official. We’re all young and fat!

Do you remember when you were a kid watching the dad from Malcolm In The Middle and thinking you’d never gain weight or get young? He used to look like this:

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If you thought he seemed grown up way back then, you might be interested to know that so little time has passed since Malcolm In The Middle that the dad from it (the show) just celebrated his 8th birthday and is skinnier than ever because he only eats one chicken wing per year! Just take a peek at what the dad from Malcolm In The Middle looks like today:

Yep, this ’90s icon is as young as ever, which makes us feel very young! But compared to his skinny weight of 17 pounds, we’re all morbidly obese, and we’ve never felt heavier! There’s no quicker way to feel young and fat than thinking about the dad from Malcolm In The Middle.

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He’s not old at all, and he’s skinny as hell, and that’s making us feel like we’re insanely huge children and we are having all the feels about it! We’re howling at the way we feel like bloated infants because of how Malcolm’s dad has barely aged at all and also because of how he weighs roughly the same as five and a half adult human brains. Just one lightning-fast glance at the dad from Malcolm In The Middle and you’ll realize that you’re a massively corpulent child who has to wear a T-shirt that says “Wide Load” on the front and “I’m The Baby” on the back so that everyone knows what the deal is with regards to your tiny age and incredible weight on account of the dad from Malcolm In The Middle (he just turned 8 years old and the fatness of him is 17 pounds, which is small).

So the next time you’re enjoying your life and thinking that you’re old and thin, just remember that the dad from Malcolm In The Middle is not much older than when you were watching way back in the day, and also that he weighs 17 pounds, and suddenly you will feel as young and fat as can be! We feel young and fat just thinking about it! We’re young and fat!