We spoke with 22 park rangers from all over the country and asked them one simple question: What is the most creative way you’ve ever used a snake? But we also gave them a restriction: They weren’t allowed to say ‘whip.’ Their answers might surprise you.


1. Zack Shehan – “What do you mean I can’t say ‘whip’?”


2. Brian Trissler – “Wait, I’m not allowed to say ‘whip’? Why not?”

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3. Morgan White – “Well, if I can’t say ‘whip,’ then nothing. Sorry.”

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4. Ryan Doss – “Just a whip, I think.”

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5. Scott McBride – “As a…weapon?”

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6. Samantha Fisher – “I mean, it was boring, but you’re not letting me use ‘whip’….”

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7. Jessica Caldwell – “Let’s be honest, it’s all stupid after whip.”

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8. Pete Fickles – “Whip—sorry.”

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9. Michelle Hoffman – “Whip—sorry.”

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10. Jason McNabb – “Whip—sorry.”

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11. Jess Foxworth – “Whip—oh, sorry.”

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12. Michael Weaving – “I don’t understand…why can’t I say ‘whip’?”

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13. Jimmy Adler – “Does a cat o’ nine tails count? Because I’ve definitely used a snake—well, snakes—to make that. All I did was take nine snakes, wrangle them together by their tails, and tie them to a nice long stick. Definitely one of my greatest achievements as a park ranger, I would say. One time, I slapped it against a cow, and there was so much venom in one hit that she just fell to the ground, dead. And sure, that was great and all, but just using one snake is way more fun. Apparently you don’t want to know about that, though.”

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14. Mary Dunlap – “As a flail.”

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15. Holly Everett – “A violent lasso.”

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16. Aaron Miller – “May I say ‘pain rope’?”

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17. James Saylors – “As a long string that I used to make loud slapping sounds and also marks in an enemy’s back.”

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18. Jose Silva – “Como un látigo.”

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19. Sean Weston – “Please let me say ‘whip.’”

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20. Kate Lecrone – “Ah, interesting. Well, once, I used a garden snake as a belt. I wrapped it through my pant loops and fed its tail into its mouth. Another time, I used one to replace a tube in a vacuum cleaner. But look, I’m really sorry—that’s all I’ve got. Otherwise, the only thing I’ve ever used a snake for is a…tool. That I used to beat a man.”

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21. Ian Burns – “What?”

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22. Sarah Bedell – “Whip. Sorry. Whip. Sorry. Whip. How’d I do?”

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